How Does GST Work...?

A very good question, indeed. In order for the universe to be

A String Terminal Depot somewhere in Newfoundland

loosely tied together, it follows that each part must also be loosely tied together, and there must be some process(es)* for accomplishing this. As is frequently the case, a little walking around, empirical observation and intelligent deduction will get you further than googling GST on your gadgets. For example, what might one deduce from observing the information in the photograph on the right? Most casual observers might see a cluttered 'dock' in a small fishing village in Newfoundland, but to the G-String Theorist, this is your classic String Terminal Depot (STD). A vehicle is loading string and various objects that require being loosely tied together and delivered to some part of the universe. To date, no one has actually seen this process in action, but clues as to its mechanics can be found for those willing to look for them. The sharp-eyed observer will note that the String Transportation Device (STD, not to be confused with the String Terminal Depot, also an STD), locally codified as "jist a friggin boat, b'y!",  is clearly pointing east, so let's follow our noses...and yes, we soon discover where it was heading: a cow pasture in Ireland (below)! Skeptics may say we're stretching it a bit, except for this

'a poil of feckin labster traps'? or a Greater Cosmic Mystery?

tantalizing fact: the items in the cow pasture would normally be associated with the ocean (a local signifier signified these objects as "jist a poil of feckin labster traps, yiz bleedin' idjit!"), but the pasture is not even within sight of an ocean! Also, note the cow, an important clue to 'pasture'. How and why this is a necessary element of GST remains a mystery. The process, however, may be demystified by further observations. For example, note the planar structures leaning against the stone wall of the pasture. These structures are commonly found in this part of Ireland, often being utilized as moveable elements attached with string to similar stone walls, and apparently integral to the function of the walls. Further discussion of these unique and fascinating features of GST will be pursued in a future chapter. For the time being, we can theorize that Newfoundland and Ireland have some particular cosmic reason for being loosely tied together. We hope that further research, perhaps in my laboratory in the Yellow Belly Brewery in St. John's (or my satellite labs in Shamrock City and Fiddlers) will yield some clues as to the function of this connection within the overall workings of the cosmos. One hesitates to conjure up A Greater Intelligence, or A Grand Design, but something is clearly at work here that may be beyond our comprehension.

* I will occasionally use parentheses to add additional but otherwise useless punctuation, letters or other information to words or phrases to signify that I am a post-structuralist intellectual. If this bothers you, then you may be suffering from Late Modernism. See your doctor, if you have money and/or time to waste, or come to my local laboratory with a bottle of Islay single malt (any of them), and I will give you a free consultation regarding your unfortunate affliction.