This...and That!

An unusual string of no apparent purpose

It has been some time since I've posted anything regarding Gordon's String Theory, because it occurred to me one evening (well, early morning actually) that there was an issue with GST. To wit: even if the universe is loosely tied together with string, which prevents all its components from just drifting off to nowheresville, what is to prevent these drifting continents, planets, galaxies, etc. from eventually bumping into each other when they get sort of to the other side of the universe?  Or, to bring it down to our own scale, given the Law of Gravity, why don't things just fall down, even if they are loosely tied to other things? Fortunately, as the case is with most of Gordon's Scientifical Theories about 3am, it turns out that one answer suffices for many questions. I must admit that I owe this flash of brilliance to Quantum Theory, which more or less suggests that if there is a 'This' in the Universe, there must also be a symmetrical 'That'. Somewhere. This is how things that don't exist are discovered. Thus I realized that the missing 'That' required in GST would be the symmetrical opposite of the 'This' (which, of course, is String!)* And so I spent considerable time considering 'What is the symmetrical opposite

An unusual stick of no apparent purpose

of String?'  Could it be a ball, for example? But then, there are balls of string...Could it be some leftover roast beef? But then, not only are roast beefs sometimes stringy, they are often tied together with string! A thing cannot be the opposite of itself if it includes itself. Could it be some pancakes? A bag of Ms. Vicki's chips or some caramel crunch frozen yoghurt? This suggested to me that my line of reasoning was being compromised by peripheral personal concerns, so I had several snacks, which allowed me to remove those items from the equation. Could it be another glass of Malbec? Ditto. I will not bore you with all the twists and turns of my research, except to say that red research is preferable to white, and screw tops do not work well with a corkscrew. These minor technicalities dealt with, I turned my mind to considering the Essential Common Qualities of String: 1) limp  2) draggable but not pushable  3) can not stand vertically due to the Law of Gravity...Were there any others? No! So what were the opposite qualities? Rigidity, pushable (and draggable), and capable of standing vertically, or at any angle, if not completely on its own, perhaps by leaning on something or being inserted in a hole. Bewildered and exhausted by this quandary about That, I absent-mindedly addressed myself to the sticky residue of a spilled snack, and Eureka!! Of course! Stickiness! A stick! This is how science happens, not with a bang, but with an early morning mess. And so, faithful readers, we embark on another great adventure: Gordon's Stick Theory (GST2)! Stay tuned.

* this roundabout way of arriving at the beginning again after numerous loops and tangles is known as a Gordonian Knot.