Whither Continental Drift...?

A Continental String End in British Columbia...?

Everyone knows about continental drift, one of the physical manifestations of Tectonic Plate Theory, which essentially describes how Earth's largest land masses, aka continents, were once One Big Continent which split into smaller chunks which then began to move away from each other, mostly rather quietly and often at night when most people were sleeping. So we didn't really notice that Europe was a little bit further away each morning, until that fateful day when we realized we'd need more than a good pair of rubber boots to get there...Scientists have tried to explain how this could happen by suggesting it took place over billions of years. Fair enough...most people can't remember what happened last week, let alone where Australia used to be a million years ago (behind the shed with the barbie). But for G-String Theorists, there's a small problem: how come these continents haven't moved so far apart that they're not bumping into each other again on the other side of the world? Exactly! Enter Continental String Theory, a sub-theory of GST which postulates that the continents are tied together in a loose formation that prevents them from drifting too far apart. The actual mechanics of Continental String Theory are poorly

...while a brave pony keeps Ireland secure

understood at this time, as the theory is dependent on finding both ends of a what must understandably be very long Continental Strings, then proving that they are the same string. Nevertheless, new discoveries of possible Continental String Ends (CSEs) are raising tremendous excitement about possible new Continental String discoveries*. The above photo shows a possible CSE tied to a prehistoric lawnmower frame apparently abandoned in mid-mow on the banks of the Fraser River in British Columbia. The other end disappears into the river not far away, but the string is clearly under tension! Another example (right) is a possible CSE, also clearly under tension,  attached to a very fine and friendly pony in Ireland's Inishmaan, the middle of the three Aran Islands. Is it possible that this pony is all that prevents Inishmaan from floating away across the Atlantic Ocean to bump into New York City one dark and stormy night? Or Boston, which oddly enough seems to be a particular obsession of the Aran Islanders? Was Boston once part of the Aran Islands that floated away? These questions remain unanswered, and we must admit, highly speculative at this time.

*statements like this are intended to suggest something important is happening  that could procure additional research funding, so please don't point out that it actually says nothing. Think of the pony - wouldn't she like a nice juicy apple? You can help make that happen!